Vagina goals (but not really)
New Year’s resolutions kind of suck. Every year I force myself to grasp at ‘goals’ I want to ‘achieve’ next year. Like many of us, my goals are always so unstructured, unrealistic and quite easily forgettable.
So why would I, of all people, try to suggest that anyone should commit themselves to setting ‘vaginismus goals’ for the New Year?
Well, vaginismus is the type of condition that becomes all-consuming. It fills your head 24/7, invading every thought and facet of your life. It has the power to paralyse you.
Many months after my diagnosis, I powered through appointment after appointment, only to slump in defeat when my progress slowed. I yo-yoed between motivation and empowerment, and the ‘I-can’t-do-this’, ‘it’s-too-hard’ phase.
The reason I believe setting a vaginismus goal is important is because you really need to remain focused and in control of your condition, not the other way around.
Your goal doesn’t have to be ‘cure my vaginismus’ but rather smaller, more achievable tasks which can help you stay on track and feel hopeful for the future.
The worst part about goals is making them, so feel free to use some of the goals I have created below, or share your own in the comments on this post.
Talk to one other person about vaginismus (this could be a friend, doctor, therapist, whoever you like)
Read a book about painful sex - (the GINA reading list has some great suggestions)
Download the Smiling Mind app and learn how to practice mindfulness
Purchase a Goop vagina candle (just kidding! Don’t do this)
Start a dilator journal, record how you feel after each session
Listen to a podcast about vaginismus - (you can find some good ones here)
Challenge a negative idea or thought that comes into your mind when you think about vaginismus
Do a full body scan each night before bed, focusing on relaxing your pelvic floor
Explore and learn more about your anatomy (what is the pelvic floor anyway?)
Whatever your goal is, remember that even the tiniest steps count as progress.
I hope 2022 brings you closer to where you want to be.
Leah
Founder, GINA
Ps. Feel free to share some of your goals in the comments below
